Separate but Equal or Joint Checking?
I’ve been debating for a few months of switching things up with how to handle the finances. Right now my wife and I only have one joint checking account where everything goes in, and everything comes out. While this has worked for quite awhile, it does create a challenge when one of us needs something or wants to do something, yet the bills have to be considered too. I know some people who do a yours and mine account and pay for half the bills. While it may seem to work for them, it feels very separated instead of working together.
The idea I had was to have three accounts, a sort of yours, mine, and ours type of thing. Paychecks would be deposited into separate accounts and then a percentage of the monthly costs would be transferred to the one in the middle. The only question is when it comes to personal debt we both have, should those be considered a joint expense? I make quite a bit more than my wife is currently and if this were the case, I think she would have trouble keeping up with her payments. That would be the point where I feel she would begin to think that this is unfair to her and wanting to go back to the old way.
If we combined all our bills and household expenses as they are so we have no individual payments, roughly 70% of each of our income would take care of this. This would leave us each with the remaining left over. I would have several hundred per month and my wife only a few hundred left over. Since I naturally don’t live in the moment, but rather the future the bulk of ‘my’ money would go directly towards getting us out of debt.
Sometimes the best thing is to do nothing at all and leave it the way it is. Joint account just means we need to both work together to manage the money and meet our wants and needs. The basics just always have to come first like food, shelter, utilities, clothes, and transportation. Beyond this basic structure are luxuries that we choose to have: HDTV, cell phones, Internet, and the like. We also have the credit card debt we’re working on, and the student loans that have to be paid back. I’m just weighing the options here openly on the blog as thinking out loud. Feel free to leave a comment on the subject.
My husband and I currently use this system and it puts a real strain on our marriage. He makes twice what I make, and we split all of the bills down the middle. He has a lot of financial wiggle room and I have none. It leaves everything very unbalanced and causes a lot of fights. It is hard for me to watch him spend $134 on two ties, when I am tearing my hair out trying to figure where my next credit card payment is coming from.
I would discuss this thoroughly with your wife and try and figure out exactly how much room you would need to leave yourselves to keep your sanity.
Sorry for the really strong comments, but this one hits very close to home!
My wife and I are currently working to get our accounts in order as well. The way that we have worked it to this point is that my income takes care of the bills, the fun money, etc. (basically everything on the budget). The only exception to this is the direct expense my wife incurs as a part of working (gassing up the car, occassional lunches, etc.) Everything else she makes goes against the debt. We could seperate our her expenses and my expenses, with a bit of “our” expenses, but it doesn’t take long to figure out how much money I can throw at the debt each month with this arrangement. All her extra money goes into an account. If the account has a balance, it can be used to pay off debt…
We have 3 accounts.His, mine and ours.We never pay bils half and half.For married couples it is sooo silly to do that, as if rommmates
Because mr.finance makes 3 times more than I do, he covers all of our house expenses. I pay cable and cellphone. (i used to pay for gym too, we cancelled it this month)It works perfect us because when one of us need something as long as everything else paid, me/him doesnt have to worry. Also when we got eachother a present, it feels different as if we are still gf and bf eventhough we have one common goal.
Ohh btw, you definetly need to consider what your and her income is. if you have $500 wiglle room and she has only $100 thhat’s not fair at all.
After our CC debt is paid off, his paycheck will cover all of our living expenses, my paycheck will solely go to saving for house downpayment. Oops sorry I wrote to many comments already.
Instead of putting a set amount each to bills, you should put a set amount to yourselves. Say you each get $200/ month to put in your private checking and the rest goes into the joint account out of which you pay all your bills, groceries, gas… That seems to be the most fair way to me.
Splitting things down the middle does seem unfair when one person makes so much more than the other. It’s like splitting a dinner bill when one person had a salad and water and the other person had lobster and a nice glass of wine.
It just serves to remind me of one of the benefits of being single.
But at least you’re thinking about it, and that’s a great thing. I hope it works out.
I never suggested splitting things in half at all, she wouldn’t be able to pull that off. Chicky, I don’t disclose income or our monthly expenses either, at least yet. The number I suggested was 70% out of what each of us brings home goes into a joint account to handle our regular expenses. I do like the suggestion of continuing to put it all in one account and then taking out an agreed amount we can each have to do with as we please. The roommate thing doesn’t work when you’re married either, but both of us should be pulling our fair share for the common good.
I don’t remember what it’s like to be single, nor would I see it as a benefit. If something were to happen, you at least have the other there for you. There have been times my wife has had no income and everything was riding on me. It created some stress because when all of our bills come in, there’s only one source available to pay them. I’m glad she is done with school and can get a handle on her career track. I’ve just hit 3 years where I’m at, but have been doing what I do before I went to college. Since we’re young right now it would be nice to get our ducks in a row so we don’t have to struggle 30 years down the road.
I would say that everything goes into one pot, with a sum for each of you for discretionary spending that could be put into separate accounts, or an envelope for cash. I’ve been an advocate on your blog for a long time for “our debt”, “our money”, instead of his and hers.
Do you have a line in your monthly spending plan for entertainment/date night? Because that could be in addition to your fun money.
Since she is working now and there seems to be a bit more wiggle room in your budget (then when the income all rested on your shoulders), I think giving yourselves a certain amount each month to spend as you like will help you stay steady on your goal of getting out of debt.
I also agree with Michelle Singletary’s idea that any purchase of xx amount of dollars is a joint decision. The amount of xx being determined by you as a couple.
I am so glad that you have continued blogging and seeing how you have progressed in your journey! Best of luck!
Way to shoot down my attempt to make myself feel better for not being married. Thanks a lot.
Being single vs being married? I’ll take being married! being married has million more advantage.Emotionally,financially, spiritually…
I don’t want to bash the singles out there. The advantage of being single is you are responsible for you, and only you. Go anywhere, do anything, and not have to worry about getting input from the other half. It is easier to control things when there are limited factors that come into play. I think singles have more social interaction too like going out or other forms of entertainment. The major problem of being single is staying single too long in that you get stuck in your ways. Conflict in life isn’t always a bad thing, and sometimes we need it to remind us every decision is a fork in the road of life.
Good grief. Sorry I even brought it up.
Take care.
I make more than my husband. We deposit everything into our savings account, have a one time transfer each month of our expenses into checking account. The amount in savings goes towards our EF or paying down (my) student loans. If there is any extra in the checking at the end of the month, it is discertionary, and either hubs or I can call it or it will roll into the next month. We tend to be pretty fair to each other in regards to spending the discretionary.
My hubby and I deposit all of our paychecks into the joint checking, and then we calculated ALL of our expenses/bills (as in everything including my skating fees, medications, even some leeway for wedding gifts) and we figured what we have left over a month…it is about $1800 so we split it up by 3…$600 goes to savings/emergency fund, then $600 each to him and me. Should we “need” more we can hit up the checking account and withdraw more but we are both disciplined enough to not overspend our “allowances”. It’s not as if I spend all the $600 on personal/shopping stuff a month, so I just roll it over to the next month, same as him. So we haven’t really felt the need to make an additional withdrawal from the joint or savings accounts.
I do make more than him but I am paying for his medical/vision/dental insurance and i also have a higher student loan bill so in the end it pretty much comes out even. I think it just depends on the two people and how willing they are to work together.
by the way we also agreed that personal credit card debt (unless they are purchased as gifts for weddings, relatives etc that we are attending, or groceries/gas/household stuff that we put on the CC to get points) remains personal and will come out of our “allowance”, but i have greatly reduced, and almost eliminated all of my CC debt (i have a few hundred left) that i don’t feel the need to hit up our joint for it. Even though if I really need to, my hubby will be ok with it. I just made sure to have my superficial CC debt almost gone before my wedding.
We each get $40/month spending money cash and everything else is joint.
Seems to work. Problem? My DH makes 4x what I make so it wouldn’t be fair to try and split expenses.
I used to make more than him and it was all joint.
My husband and I do the yours, mine and ours thing . . . but backwards from the way YOU suggest it. JOINT ACCOUNT . . . all checks automatically go into that account. The Joint Account pays ALL the household bills, even credit cards. (I’ll talk about credit cards later).
We each have our own account. Each paycheck period the joint account automatically takes out . . . 10% to savings account, and 10% to our “allowance”. That’s 5% to HIS account and 5% to MY account.
With our ALLOWANCE we can go shopping, get spa treatments, buy tools, etc. It’s MY money and I can do what I want. However, once it’s gone, it’s gone. No credit cards after that.
80% of our funds go to bills and whatever the household needs.
And THAT is how you do the YOURS, MINE and OURS accounts.