Survived Black Friday
Thanksgiving is that time of year we’re supposed to be give thanks for the things we take for granted. This is not the case with major retailers given that they make 25-50% of their annual profits in the 40 days between holidays. Not that I wanted to go, my wife and I got caught up in the Black Friday mess.
I noticed a lot of stuff, even on sale, wasn’t that great of a deal considering I have seen the same prices weeks before. So what makes it about Black Friday that gives people permission to spend money? My wife actually didn’t spend that much money and meanwhile I got my mom the doorbuster Mickey Mouse snow globe at JCPenny. So we’re still in the black for now.
December is going to be another story. Just as the issue came up in June, our semi-annual car insurance bill is coming due. An added bonus though my wife’s insurance will be discounted more so we will save over $100 bucks this time around. It will still take some money though to cover our insurance bill so we’re covered the New Year. I’m not sure how we’re going to do both Christmas and car insurance in the same month. My wife starts to look at that emergency fund as though it is regular savings for this time of year. It almost sounds like she thinks we should go into the New Year with no EF.
At the same time along with Christmas is my wife’s birthday. She already told me she wants a Coach purse for Christmas and the matching wallet for her birthday. I’m at a loss here when it comes to figuring out how to cash flow a $300-400 gift. Getting out of debt isn’t a priority to her this year and I don’t know if it will be next year. Sometimes I just want to stop trying anymore because I’m not getting anywhere. Is all the effort on my part really worth it?
Simple answer - you don’t buy a $400 purse/wallet when you’re trying to scrape together money to pay the car insurance!! Learn to use that ancient, forgotten word - NO!
Are you setting aside money each month (1/6 of the total) for the car insurance? We started doing that a couple years ago for irregular bills (car insurance, property taxes, etc), and it’s made a HUGE difference in our world. When the bill comes in, I transfer the money from the savings account where it’s been accumulating, write the check, and don’t think twice about it.
Jim, it sounds like you and your wife need to have a very frank and candid discussion about your debt. If it isn’t a priority for her, it won’t be for you either; it already sounds like you are discouraged. I learned first hand that a lack of candid financial discussions can ruin a marriage.
I’d like you as a husband. My husband complains about my spending and I don’t buy much. He says that it’s extravagent to have more than say 5 pairs of shoes. He’s upset if I buy clothes.
When I scream at him about being so cheap he relents. More so now, mostly because we have a roomie, who tends to agree with me. He tries so hard to limit everything. It’s not even financial, but about stuff. He’s like we shouldn’t own more than this much stuff. He thinks we don’t deserve anything.
I still want a $100 raclette machine, but instead of letting me spend the $100, he says “you don’t need something you’ll use 3-4x/year. And you don’t buy machines you only use for one purpose. And it takes up space, it’s a waste of money.” So it’s not $$$ but it’s everything.
Does she really need the matching wallet at this point? Tell her you can get either the purse or the wallet for now but not both. The other one can be a Valentine’s gift so she really won’t have to wait long. I would also look at outlets to get them (not ebay though, there are many knockoffs on ebay and you’ll just totally waste your money if you end up with one). Hopefully your wife is ok with an accessory that is one or two seasons behind which is what is in the outlets. Nordstrom Rack is a good start. I bought a big Michael Kors tote there that was $218 for $99, and it is their “signature print”, rather than a seasonal fabric like velvet or mesh; so it will never go out of style.
Of course do the above after you guys figure out the car insurance stuff first. Know your priorities!
Do her friends, family, etc get her gifts too? Perhaps you could all pool your money and buy her the purse….
My Fiance has expensive taste - but his are computer stuff, photography stuff, etc. So, if he wants a really expensive item - anything over $200 his mom, his brother, me, and my parents all chip in money to get it for him. Because he’d rather get one gift than get a bunch of smaller gifts from each of us that he’s not as happy with.
I know this little tip might not be the best thing when you are on a budget or trying to get out of debt but I am going to tell you anyway. When my husband bought my Coach about two years ago, he signed up for the preferred customers list. Coach sends you a coupon for 25% off everything in the store for selected days at different times of the year. I get them all the time but thankfully I learned how to throw them out. You can sign up and maybe have the coupons sent to a relative or friend so your wife doesn’t get a hold of them. If you sign up now, you might get your first coupon sometime in spring. Maybe you can hold off buying her one until then. Then you can get her something she really wants and you get the discount at the same time. You know your wife better than any of us, so you might not want to tell her about the discount because it might give her an excuse to purchase MORE than what she needs. Your a grown man and if you decide to purchase her something expensive that is your business. But maybe this can help if do decide to do so.