iPod, iPhone… iDebt?
I didn’t have much to post last week after the crazy $300 weekend that spawned a ton of comments from my readers. This weekend wasn’t that bad except for Saturday. Our cat decided to jump on a table and chew on my wife’s iPod. Now my wife is extremely picky about wear and tear and needs everything new looking all the time, so this was not good. I got her this thing for Christmas like 2 years ago and now it is no good because the cat chewed a button on it?
We went down to the mall (HATE HATE MALLS!) to the Apple store to their GeniousBar (yeah, and they use Macs, right) to see what could be done. They told us it could be replaced for $99 but he suggested the little wear and tear to this unit, it might be better to eBay it and buy a new one. She likes hers because it’s original and looks to me for the answer regarding spending $99 to replace this thing. I was annoyed that the decision has to end up in my hands, but I told her that we really don’t have the money right now to do this and there is nothing functionally wrong with the device. Needless to say, she didn’t like my answer.
After she calmed down about not replacing the iPod, the tables turned to cell phones. Our current cell phone contract is up and we’re going to switch providers, and get new phones of course. She thinks it would be a good idea to get an iPhone so she can get a new phone and an iPod in one device. I didn’t even have to say anything to let her know my answer. The iPhone is a toy! It is a very expensive, media hyped, expensive, fancy looking, expensive, toy! Then she just told me she would get it with her credit card. I feel like things are spinning out of control. As I am working so hard to avoid credit, spending, etc. the efforts are being counterbalanced by my wife.
Not sure what to do here anymore. I feel like we’re going in our own directions here and not working together. The pressure of having to borrow money to sell our house bothers the crap out of me. Sure it makes sense to trade a larger loan for a smaller one, but I think this is the wrong time to do this. I would like her to get finished with student teaching, currently a few miles from where we live, so that we could move next year once she’s done. The market sucks, moving sucks, and borrowing money to move sucks.
Thank you for your great post, and advice!
Hmm, not sure what to say but wanted to offer my support.
Why is it “her” card and not “our” card? Perhaps that is the real problem. Does your wife think in terms of “ours” only when it suits her?
And another thing- AVOID THE MALLS, no matter what the “marital” cost!
Hey I’ve been reading your blog for a while. I would suggest your wife read one or more of Dave Ramsey’s books. I personally love his book Total Money Makeover. Get it at the library (don’t buy it!) and better yet, read it together. It may open her eyes and yours to what life could be like debt free, if you will sacrifice now and work together.
Also on the house. I would not sell if I was you. Wait it out. Your market will appreciate and as you said, you can afford your home. Stick it out, stay in the suburbs away from expensive downtown. In 5 years you can sell, walk away with cash and buy something nicer in a better neighborhood. Set the precidence in your neighborhood by doing updates to your home and keeping it neat, clean and tidy. Plant flowers. Seeds are cheap!
Another idea: sit down and do a written budget that you both agree on. Dave talks about this a lot in his books. There are tools in his books to get you going on this. Give yourself and your wife some mad money each month in your budget. That way you aren’t the bad guy. If she chooses to blow her mad money on the 1st on a new Ipod thingie, then her money is gone for the month. Currently we have $50 a month in mad money. That may sound like pennies to your wife, so you may have to start bigger, but the point is once its gone, its gone and its her choice, not yours! Plus its coming out of your earning not a credit card! Cut up your cards! ALL OF THEM! Budget those dates too so the occasional (like once a year!) $300 weekend won’t have you feeling like your going backwards.
You can do this - you just need to ease your wife into it. Read the Dave books and there are so many others out there. If you want more titles, email me and I’ll send you a bunch. I am praying for you!
Well, as a distant observer, it’s clear enough from here that you’re going to be trapped in debt for a very long time if your wife is going to be buying things like new ipods and expensive iphones or sunglasses whenever she wants.
You need to educate your wife on the benefits of living within your means. The reward is of course no longer being a slave to debt. But the even bigger reward comes when you start saving money and investing. It starts slow, but wealth grows exponentially as it compounds.
You both need to read one of the books that show that the road to riches involves saving money, getting out of debt, saving money, and investing. It truly will lead to great wealth.
Read ‘The Millionaire Next Door’ and
“The Only Investment Guide You’ll Ever Need”.
Maybe your wife would be willing to read these or one of the Suze Orman books on topics related to debt and finanical freedom.
Maybe also read:
Buffett: The Making of an American Capitalist
The first principle Buffett learned was that of saving money.
Personally, I think you’d be better off just reading these books rather than getting a second job (if you actually spend the time that you would have been working to read these books).
Well, good luck.
Oh, one more. I haven’t read this one myself, but I think it might be good for your situation:
The Simple Living Guide
I think you should be able to find most of these at a local library.
I absolutely second the notion of Dave Ramsey. He also has a radio show. You can listen to it for free online through iTunes. Better yet, call in and ask his advice in person!
Appreciate all the comments. My wife actually got me Dave Ramsey’s book Total Money Makeover for my birthday. I have already read it and think it is something we could try to do, but my wife is not as willing to read it. Lately I listen to his radio show over the Internet at work via the archives, and most of the time it is pretty good. Sometimes I know what he will tell callers, but he gives his answers very quickly without considering other factors. This is where I disagree with Dave on his cut and dry solutions.
If your car payment is too much, sell the car. This sounds good but what do you do without a car now? There is a reason you have a car, so selling it may not always be the best idea. I like owing cars and never buy anything new. Currently I own my car and make no payments. When I was making payments, I always overpaid those payments to pay it off faster. If my car was to break and I had to get a new one, I’m not going to sit around a few months to save a couple grand before buying a car. I’m going to get a cheap car and pay it off quickly.
Student loans are another thing that bugs me. He preaches paying for school by working as much as two or three jobs. I knew a few people who ended up going to school longer because they worked so many jobs and sometimes didn’t go to class because they were scheduled to work. College should be fun with its limits. I have some student loans and came out of college with debt. They are low interest rates and I have full intentions to pay it off once credit card debt is gone. I don’t think a young person should be pressured so much to work jobs to attempt to pay for school. Others may disagree with me, I don’t care.
My wife and I do need to get it together when it comes to finances and ‘our’ money. It is easy for people who are not in our situation to suggest we stay put and wait it out 2-5 years before we sell. Right now our neighborhood is starting to become overwhelmed with renters. I recently got a letter from the HOA that the level of renters is approaching a level close to Section 8. If that happens within the next year or two, I think the loss will be even greater than it is now.
It is a catch 22 situation because I would have to borrow the money just to sell. I’m not excited to move all the way downtown and pay a lot of money every month to rent a smaller place. Going from a house with a basement to an apartment will not be easy for me to transition. It is also annoying to have to switch up my work location from where I currently am and take the train into downtown like the typical commuter. She doesn’t exactly have a job yet so this move isn’t even required at this time. I’m at a loss on this issue and don’t know what to tell her when she asks me what we’re going to do with the house. I always ask her to find 8 grand.
Hi Jim,
It really sounds like you and your wife need to be on the same page regarding finances. I can tell you that you won’t get debt free unless you both work together. And moving closer to the city, in my humble opinion, will only add to your financial problems. It sounds like some counseling would really help you both out not only to understand one another in a deeper context, but also, align each other’s goals. I’ve participated in relationship counseling in the past, and I’ve found it’s really helped nurture the respect between loved ones. Good luck, Jim … I hope things work out!